Of Valentine’s Day, Love and Gun Laws

Columnist Heather Borden Herve takes a look at the new meaning Valentine’s Day will have for thousands in Connecticut this year.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

I love you so much,

I’m headed to Hartford on Valentine’s Day to try and make the world a safer place for you.

Who would have ever thought that one of the ways I’d show my children how I love them is to try and change the world by raising my voice against gun violence. I wish this Valentine’s Day would simply be about packaging up store-bought valentines for them to bring into class and distribute to their classmates, or that all I’d have to do would be to make heart-shaped pancakes before sending them off to school.

But that was before, when sending children off to school meant that they would always come home safely. That was before Dec. 14, 2012, and the unimaginable events at Newtown’s Sandy Hook Elementary School, when 20 sets of parents sent their 6- and 7-year-old children off to school and instead of coming home safely, those children and their heroic teachers were brutally shot and killed in their classrooms.

Life is now different and things have since changed. Like moms and dads and family and friends all over America, millions of us woke up on Dec. 15, 2012, as armchair activists no more. I’ll be marching on Thursday in Hartford with March for Change, as a love letter to my children, along with thousands of other like-minded Connecticut residents.

What we’re hoping to achieve is simple: to show state legislators that there are many of us who want safer gun laws enacted in Connecticut, and that it can be done so without sacrificing the Second Amendment. Universal background checks on ALL sales and transfers. A stronger assault-weapons ban. Limits on high capacity ammunition magazines.

The march starts at 11 a.m. at the State Capitol building in Hartford. Gov. Dannel P. Malloy will be there as well as legislators and elected officials from both political parties. There will be representatives from communities all over Connecticut who have experienced gun violence, as well as families of the Sandy Hook victims. Colin Goddard, a survivor of the Virginia Tech massacre, and Stephen Barton, a Connecticut resident who survived the Aurora, Colo., shooting massacre will speak as well.

It will be multi-faith, bi-partisan and, hopefully, peaceful. Because that is ultimately what we’re marching for — less violence, more peace and safety.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

Guns kill.

My 10-year-old son will be marching at his first rally, joining many kids from around the state taking part. One of the activities leading up to Thursday’s rally was a fundraiser for a 9th grade social studies class from Bridgeport, which wanted to travel to Hartford in order to take part in the March for Change. These students have personal reasons for wanting to attend, as were clearly evident when they each answered the question that asked them how guns affected their lives:

"Guns have taken a close friend from me. Gun violence needs to stop because they are taking the lives of many innocent people and that is not fair. Guns are supposed to keep us safe, but they are doing the exact opposite," wrote one. 

"Guns actually have affected my privacy and freedom. For example, when I ask my mom if I can go to the movies and she says, "oh you can't go because they'll shoot you like the have done to the others." Then there is also the times when there are shoot-outs at Marina Village my mom will come into my room and sleep with me," answered another.

These children will learn that their voices and efforts can be put toward making change, toward impacting the legislative process, toward contributing toward democracy. Just as they’ve learned that there are harsh realities of life that happen to children — sadly, because of guns — so too will they be able to see that they are not powerless, and that there are adults who will advocate for them and help them learn how to advocate for themselves.

On the day of love, I will write a new love letter to my children, promising that a mother’s love knows no bounds, even when it means that protecting them means more than just kissing a scraped knee or making sure they bundle up against the cold. If it means we move mountains, if it means we march on Hartford, if it means we change history, then that’s what Valentine’s Day will now forever mean.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Onward to Hartford, because, simply,

I love you too much not to.

Chris February 13, 2013 at 01:44 PM
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Guns don't kill people, People do! FACT: Semiauto rifles and standard capacity magazines are rarely used to murder or commit crime. Hammers and baseball bats are used to kill far more people. FACT: 2/3rds of all "gun deaths" are suicides. Banning guns doesn't stop people from killing themselves, they just pick a different method. Look at Japan, where civilian gun ownership is virtually nonexistent, and yet the suicide rate is about the same as the USA. FACT: Most "child" gun deaths are actually teen/young adult gang members or suicides (Again, someone who wants to kill themselves will find a way. I know, I had a family member who didn't have access to the firearms in our home commit suicide.) FACT: Vermont has virtually no gun control laws and their violent crime rate is low. Illinois has some of the strongest gun control laws in the country and lots of violent crime. The mere access to a firearm doesn't turn good, law-abiding people into violent criminals. FACT: No matter what study you look at, civilian owned firearms are used far more often to stop a crime or save a life then they are used to commit a crime or take a life. FACT: The Supreme Court has ruled the police have no legal obligation to protect you or your family. First and foremost it is YOUR responsibility to protect yourself and your loved ones. The police come later to investigate. FACT: Police in CT are only required to train 3hrs a year with a gun.
Corinne Miller February 13, 2013 at 02:25 PM
Facts trump emotionalism every time. Thanks for sharing them Chris.
Robert Chambers February 13, 2013 at 02:50 PM
What if you knew that marching, and even the enactment of more gun laws would not make you or your children safer? How would it feel to know you are being led along a path by people with a different agenda than keeping people safe? If you want to keep your kids safer be more involved in their lives, get to know their friends parents before you let your kids play over there. When a teacher suggests you see a pediatrician because "Johnny" is restless in class resist the temptation to run off and have him force fed Ritalin or whatever the drug du jour is for these "illnesses". Almost all of these shootings have been committed by people on, or recently off SSRI drugs. You want to keep your kids safe, raise awareness of the mass drugging of society which in due course will be found to be a contributing of not THE causal factor in people going off the edge and becoming violent. If you want to make your kids safer ask why they are in "gun free zones" which is also another huge draw to the beserk killer. What better place to have unfettered access to innocent and defenseless than a GFZ ? Just taking that designation away will put the seed of doubt in their minds. Why did the Colorado movie shooter bypass 3 closer movie theaters to choose the one he struck at? The one he visited was a gun free zone... worked out great for him didn't it.. no resistance at all. I hope the weather is nice for you, being outside is good at least.
tom February 13, 2013 at 03:41 PM
Heather: Give it a rest. Repetition does not equal fact. Most readers know your view and also know that you do not objectively report facts selecting only those which appear to support your position and omitting or diminishing those which do not. You and the rest of the people beating so relentlessly on this are both exploitive and yellow journalists.


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